The Cobbler and the Brahmin









Click below to listen to a scene

SCRIPT

(On Stage sits the cobbler working. An Harinama party enters chanting Govinda jaya Gopala jaya. Cobbler join in. Harinam party exits)
Cobbler: Hmmm. It's so nice. The Holy Name. Kirtan. So wonderful isn't it? But now it is time to make some money to maintain my family of course. Let me see. Are there any shoes or sandals to be repaired? (shoes are thrown on stage) Ah wonderful! Wonderful! (picks up shoes) Very nice. (sits down) Let me begin the repairing. Govinda jaya jaya Gopala jaya jaya (2x) Radha Ramana Hari Govinda jaya jaya (Enter Narada Muni)
Narada Muni: Narayana Narayana Narayana.
Cobbler: (to audience) O Narada Muni! Narada Muni what an incredible honor. ( offers dandavats) O Narada what incredible mercy that now I am seeing you. O so wonderful ha ha. I could cry ha ha. O sage amongst sages, somehow by your mercy I am now able to see you. I am so fortunate. How may I serve you? Could I please inquire to know where you are going?
Narada Muni: I just had a refreshing bath in the sacred river Ganga and now I am on my way to Vaikuntha.
Cobbler: O! You are going to Vaikuntha? O how wonderful! Hah. Uh. Will you see Lord Narayana? (Narada nods) O oh such good fortune ha ha ha. Uh Naradaji could you please ask Lord Narayana just one small question for me? (Narada nods) I want to know how many lifetimes it will take for me to have His audience.
Narada Muni: I will.
Cobbler: O thank you, thank you.
Narada Muni: Narayana.
Cobbler: O, I'm so fallen. I am so in Maya! It will probably take me millions of lifetimes! (exits and walks almost against the brahmana)
Brahmana: Hey muci, hut! Out of my way! I have just taken my bath to do my puja and I don't want to be contaminated. O, I am so glad I'm a Brahmin. And not just any brahmana, but one with a very aristocratic lineage. Yes yes, I Shastriji Halavananda Bhattacarya Puri Pakora Pandit have undergone all Vedic samskara ceremonies. I'm very packa. I take three baths daily and besides all my puja I study all the scriptures: Rg Veda, Atharva Veda, Upanisads, Vedanta Sutra, Mahabharata, Ramayana, Readers Digest. Yes yes. Life is meant for acquiring knowledge to obtain the ultimate Liberation! Moksha! (sits down)
Now it is time for my puja! Om Kesavaya namah (sips) Om Narayanaya namah (sips) Om Madhavaya namah (sips) Om Govindaya namah Om Visnave namaha.
Narada Muni: Narayana Narayana Narayana.
Brahmana: O, I recognize you! Are you not Narada Muni (R) O, I have to ask you something (R)
So please wait here till I'm finished with my puja. Om Madhusudanaya namah (touch right cheek with fingers of right hand) Om Trivikaramaya namah (touch left cheek with fingers of right hand) Om Vamanaya namah (wipe above upper lip with base of right thumb) Om Sridharaya namah (wipe under lower lip with base of right thumb) Om Hrisikesaya namah (sprinkle water on both hands) Om Padmanabhaya namah (sprinkle water on both feet) Om Damodaraya namah (sprinkle water on top of head) Om Vasudevaya namah (touch lips with fingertips right hand) Om Sankarsanaya namah (touch right nostril with right thumb and forefinger) Om Pradyumnaya namah (touch left nostril with right thumb and forefinger) Om Aniruddhaya namah (touch right eye with right thumb and ring finger) Om Purusottamaya namah (touch left eye with right thumb and ring finger) Om Adhoksajaya namah (touch right ear with tight thumb and forefinger) Om Nrisimhaya namah (touch left ear with tight thumb and forefinger) Om Acyutaya namah (touch navel with right thumb and little finger) Om Janardanaya namah (touch heart with palm right hand) Om Upendraya namah (touch head with all fingers right hand) Om Haraye namah (touch right upper arm with fingertips left hand) Om Krsnaya namah (touch left upper arm with fingertips right hand) (with folded hands) Om tad visno paramam padam sada pasyanti surayah diviva caksur atatam tad vipraso vipanyavo jagrivam sah samindhate visnor yat paramam padam. (Sees Narada Muni) My dear Naradaji, namaste. It is so nice to finally meet another exalted soul. Nothing is sweeter than sadhu sanga Isn't it? (grins) May I be so curious to ask where you are going?
Narada Muni: I'm on my way to Vaikuntha to see Lord Narayana.
Brahmana: Eh, Accha! My dear Naradaji, could you do a favour for a humble brahmana? (grins)
Narada Muni: Is this the question you wanted to ask me?
Brahmana: O yes. Most important question! My dear Naradaji, when you see Lord Narayana, could you be so kind to ask Him when I will get my moksha?
Narada Muni: I will.
Brahmana: O thank you, thank you. You are too kind. (exit Narada) Of course I am knowing that I will get my moksha in this very life, but I just want to know which day, that way I can prepare myself! (exits)
SCENE 2
Narada Muni: Narayana Narayana Narayana.
Lord Narayana: Ah, Narada! Mmm. How nice it is to see you again (Narada gives his dandavats. When he is trying to get up Lord Narayana lifts him up and places His hand on his shoulder) How are you?
Narada Muni: Seeing you, my Lord is the perfection of my eyes and chanting Your Holy Name is the perfection of my tongue.
Lord Narayana: Ha Narada, tell me, where have your travels taken you lately?
Narada Muni: I just came from the planet earth my Lord, where there are thousands of Your devotees. They play musical instruments, while dancing and singing Your glories. They also distribute sacred food and transcendental literature. And in the coldest month of the year they even have a transcendental competition, in which some of them distribute more than a hundred transcendental literature a day!
Lord Narayana: How glorious for Kali Yuga! To be out on the streets, in the middle of winter.
Narada Muni: If they are in the right consciousness my Lord, they will for sure experience transcendental happiness.
Lord Narayana: That's true, but still, it is a great sacrifice.
Narada Muni: Yes my lord, when I was on the planet earth, two persons requested me to ask you something. One was a.
Lord Narayana: Cobbler and the other a brahmana?
Narada Muni: O, You know?
Lord Narayana: Hah! You can tell the cobbler that he will have My darshan at the end of his life, but as for the brahmana. He will have to take millions of births before he will get his liberation.
Narada Muni: My Lord, I don't understand. The brahmana takes tree baths a day, while the cobbler is working with leather all day.
Lord Narayana: When they ask you what I was doing, when you came to see Me, you can tell them I was threading an elephant through the eye of a needle. (Lord Narayana smiling and Narada thinking exit)
SCENE 3
Narada Muni: Narayana Narayana Hmm. Now where is that cobbler? O I can't wait to see his face when I’ll tell him, but I hope I don't meet that brahmana.
Brahmana: Ah, Naradaji! (Narada cringes) I thought I'd heard you. Namaste. And, have you been to Vaikuntha? Hmm?
Narada Muni: Yes.
Brahmana: Very nice! And , did you see Narayana? hmm?
Narada Muni: Yes.
Brahmana: And? When will be my moksha?
Narada Muni: Actually eh.
Brahmana: No no wait! Let me guess! Eh tomorrow?
Narada Muni: Eh.
Brahmana: The day after tomorrow?
Narada Muni: Well.
Brahmana: O I know, I know, How nice! Today? No, not today
Narada Muni: Well.
Brahmana: Next week?
Narada Muni: Eh.
Brahmana: Next month?
Narada Muni: Well.
Brahmana: O I know, what a nice surprise! It will be on my birthday isn't it?
Narada Muni: Well actually.
Brahmana: No? Not on my birthday? Hmm. On Janmastami? Ramnomi?
Narada Muni: Eh.
Brahmana: Diwali?
Narada Muni: Eh.
Brahmana: On Christmas? Next year?
Narada Muni: Well I'm sorry, but Lord Narayana told me that you still have to wait for a few more lifetimes to get your moksha.
Brahmana: What? What did he say?? Will I Halavananda Bhattacarya Puri Pakora Pandit not get my moksha in this life? That, that is impossible! I take three baths daily! I have undergone all samskaras! And I study till my head hurts!
Narada Muni: I'm really sorry.
Brahmana: T. It's not possible! I actually begin to wonder whether you have been in Vaikuntha at all? Hmm! If you went there, tell me, what was Lord Narayana doing when you arrived?
Narada Muni: Eh. Lord Narayana was threading an elephant through the eye of a needle.
Brahmana: An elephant through the eye of a needle? And you want me to believe this? Have you forgotten who I am? I am Shastriji Halavananda Bhattacarya Puri Pakora Pandit!!! Do you hear me? Pandit! I'm not stupid!!! Actually I begin to wonder whether you are Narada Muni? I know, I know! You must be one of these Narada Muni lookalike’s! An impostor! That's what you are! T. Out of my way! T! Threading an elephant through the eye of a needle! T! Ridiculous! (exit)
Cobbler: Govinda jaya jaya gopala jaya jaya govinda jaya. (Sees Narada) O Narada Muni!
Narada Muni: Narayana.
Cobbler: O what great fortune to see you again! (gives dandavats) O Naradaji, have you been to Vaikuntha?
Narada Muni: O yes!
Cobbler: My good fortune that you have been to Vaikuntha and now you are here before me. O Naradaji, Could you please tell me what was my Lord doing when you arrived?
Narada Muni: Lord Narayana was threading an elephant through the eye of a needle.
Cobbler: An elephant through the eye of a needle? O, how wonderful!
Narada Muni: Don't you think it's a little strange?
Cobbler: A little strange? No! Why should I?
Narada Muni: An elephant through the eye of a needle, can you imagine this?
Cobbler: Bbbut of course! Why not? (picks something up) My dear Naradaji, do you see this tiny little seed? (Narada nods) If it's possible for the Supreme Lord, my Lord to grow such a huge tree within this tiny tiny little seed, then why isn't it possible for Him to thread an elephant through the eye of a needle?
Narada Muni: Jaya!

REVIEWS

Gurubhakta dasi (ACBSP) USA: My children spend hours listening to your CD's. Your rendition of the proud brahmana Halavananda Bhattacarya Puri Pakora Pandit is so funny.

Campakalata Fiorentino: Your stories are favorites in this house. Great for laughs and action and drama, and absorption in Krishna Lila! We love the Brahman and the Cobbler, and Dhruva, and the Chess Match, and the Kidnapping of Princess Rukmini, Saksi Gopal, Samba... gosh, I think we love all of them! Oh! And Govardhana!!!!

Yogindra das (ACBSP) Sweden: Our drama group has been benefited by your works prabhu. Besides first class entertainment, they're ideal to be used as a soundtrack for big festivals.

Manasi Ganga dasi: Our students loved the CD's. We have used them to stage several plays for the community. Lots of devotional fun and full of humor. ISKCON classics, in fact!