The Drowning Man








Script by Parividha das and Radha Mohan das


CAST
Felicity Boal
Harry Boal
Postman
First man
Second man
Third man
Jack Gate
Women with camcorder
Girl
Devotee
Asta Sakhi dasi
Radha Mohan das
Arjuna das
Dharanidhara das
Ravi das
Murari Gopal das
Dwijamani das
Moksha Laksmi dasi
Gita Soto
Arjuna das

Sound engineering by Dwijamani das

Produced and directed by Parividha das © 2000

SCRIPT

Felicity: Hello Tiddles! Figaro Figaro Figaro! Alright alright. I’ll let you out. Oh It’s such a beautiful Sunday morning Harry! I would love to go on a walk. How about you?
Harry: Hmm. Oh, I’m really enjoying just sitting here inside and reading the Sunday Times Felicity. Why don’t you just go alone?
Felicity: But Harry, you’re sitting every day of the week! Eight hours at the office. Four hours in your car. And then another four hours in front of the telly when you finally come home.
Harry: O just leave me, will you?
Felicity: But you need a little exercise Harry. It’s so good for you! Remember what the doctor said?
Harry: (sighs) All right then. (turns of radio) Right, where are my keys? O, there they are.
Felicity: But Harry, (laughs a little) what do you need your car keys for?
Harry: Ah o yes. (they leave the house)
Felicity: O wait a minute! Let me get the camera. Then we can sent some photos to Victor and Violet.(door)
Pat: Good morning Mr Boal!
Harry: O! Good morning Pat.
Pat: I’ve a special delivery for your wife!
Harry: O Thank you.
Pat: Will you sign here please? It’s all the way from Rome!
Harry: Really? (signs) There you go
Pat: Thank you. Have a nice day Mr Boal
Harry: Same to you Pat.
Felicity: What’s that package darling?
Harry: It’s for you, eh from Rome!
Felicity: From Rome? Hmm. I wonder what it could be?
Harry: Maybe it’s your Missing Link Spaghetti Hoops (chuckles)
Felicity: Actually, it’s for you darling, It’s your hair peace!
Harry: Hm. Anyway, let’s not waste anymore valuable time. (opens and closes garden gate)
Felicity: Hmm It’s a lovely day! Eh. which way shall we go?
Harry: I don’t care.
Felicity: O Harry, sometimes you can be so nonchalant! Let’s go to the river, then we can take some photographs near the bridge. It will look beautiful in the background.
Harry: O all right.
Felicity: O I’m so glad we moved down here. It’s ever so peaceful!
Harry: O no! (two devotees passing by chanting japa)
Felicity: What’s the matter?
Harry: I hope they don’t live around here.
Felicity: O Harry, don’t be so rude. They don’t harm anyone. They’re vegetarian.
Harry: So was Hitler!
Felicity: Really?
Harry: Hm.
Felicity: Well anyway, When I’m in London I love to see them chanting along Oxford street. It’s so so exotic!
Harry: I think ‘strange’ is a better word.
Felicity: O Harry, don’t be so so. How does their song go again? Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare
Harry: Felicity!
Felicity: Rama
Harry: They’re looking! They’re laughing!
Felicity: O Harry! I don’t think they would mind. Look they’re even waving at us!
Devotee: (from a distance) Haribol!
Felicity: How do they know your name?
Harry: Don’t know! Let’s just go before they come back.
Felicity: Hare Krishna Hare Krishna
Harry: Felicity, please!
Felicity: Oh I’m sorry Harry. It’s just so catchy! Hare Krishna.
Harry: Felicity!
Felicity: Sorry! O no my dress!
Harry: O I say. O.
Felicity: That’s Mary’s boy!
Harry: Right.
Felicity: O not again! My dress! I’m going to tell your mother about this!
Harry: I fought a war for you, you know!
Felicity: These kids of today have no respect for adults.
Harry: Ay! Ay.
Felicity: We are here Harry.
Harry: Oh.
Felicity: Isn’t this a nice spot for a photo?
Harry: I suppose so.
Felicity: Wait a minute Harry, let me do my hair. Does it look all right dear?
Harry: Yeah yeah.
Felicity: Cheese! And one from this side. Cheese. Can you see the bridge dear?
Harry: Yeah. yeah.
Felicity: Good. Cheese! Now it’s your turn. Say cheese!
Harry: Cheese!
Felicity: Can you please look a little happier Harry? Cheese!
Harry: Cheese!
Felicity: Good And another one from the side.
Harry: Cheese!
Felicity: Good. Wait! A little to the left Harry I can’t see the bridge.
Harry: Alright.
Felicity: That’s better. And now just a little bit more to the back. Just a little bit more.
Harry: O!
Felicity: Harry?
Harry: Help!
Felicity: Oh no Harry! O What to do? Help Help!
Man: What’s the matter Mrs?
Felicity: My husband! My husband! He has fallen in the water and he can’t swim!
Harry: Help!
Man: I’m sorry, but I can’t swim either.
Felicity: O no! Heeeeeelp!
Fred: He Gerald! What’s happening over there?
Gerald: Yeah Fred. Let’s have a look!
Felicity: O gentlemen please, my husband has fallen. He can’t swim!
Fred: Sorry, can’t swim.
Gerald: Neither can I.
Felicity: No No NO! No O God!
Gerald: But you can swim.
Fred: So can you. But I’m not going to ruin my suit.
Felicity: Help! Somebody! Help!
Jack: Here, what’s wrong Madam?
Felicity: Can you swim?
Jack: Course I can! Like a fish! (Negative reaction of Gerald and Fred)
Felicity: O Thanks God! Please please save my husband! He is drifting down the river.
Jack: Don’t you worry! Jack Gates will sort it out.
Man: (imitates Jack) Jack Gates will sort it out. Hear Hear!
Felicity: O thank you. Thank you.
Jack: Here I go! (All men talking to each other)
Man: You’ve got to give him credit for it.
Fred: Just in time, Look! He’s going under!
Felicity: Harry! O Harry!
Fred: He’s coming up again!
Gerald: Don’t worry madam, We can see over the tops of the bushes that he has almost reached him.
Felicity: O really!
Gerald: He got him! He got him!
Men: Yeah! (they cheer and clap their hands)
Felicity: Thank God!
Man: You can calm down now madam. He almost got your husband safely on the bank!
Gerald: They’ve made it! They’ve made it! (They cheer again!)
Felicity: O Harry!
Jack: (out of breath) Here you go madam. Here is your husband. Save and sound!
Felicity: O thank you! Thank you! But. But where is he?
Jack: I don’t….
Felicity: Where is Harry?
Jack: He’s here isn't he? He’s here! Right in front of you! Can’t you see?
Felicity: There’s only his coat!
Gerald: There’s only his coat!
Felicity: You only saved his coat! His coat is no use to me! It’s the bit inside the coat I want!
Jack: I don’t know. There’s no pleasing some people! Ain't that the truth?
Men: Yeah Yeah.
Felicity: O no! You’re useless!
Men: Women. women. Yeah!
Woman: Typical men.
Man: I know what to do.
Felicity: Where is my Harry? Harry! (cries)
Devotee: Excuse me. madam, Your husband is all right. My friend saved him.
Felicity: O thank God!
Devotee: Follow me. He’s over there.
Felicity: O Harry!
Woman: This is getting better and better and better. I can see the headlines now: Budhist in bed sheets saves man.
Girl: Mam. It’s a Hare Krishna!
Mam: Krishna? Oh, OK then, Hare Krishna in bed sheets saves man.
Felicity: Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna Thank you so much! O Harry Harry You’re alive! ( Harry coughs) This nice Hare Krishna man has saved you.
Harry: Oh!
Devotee: Hare Krishna.
Harry: O he he he he Eh Thank you. he Oh Hare Krishna ha ha he he he he he Eh, where’s my coat?


Woman: Look there is someone in the water
Girl: He
is just swimming mam.

Woman: Oh! That one is swimming but the other one is drowning! Quick! Quick give me that camcorder! I’ve got to get this on film!
Girl: We can sent it to You’ve been framed!
Woman: Ah, we will make at least 200 pounds out of this!
Girl: My God 200 pounds! You can buy me some trainers.
Woman: O I hope this comes out OK. This is such good footage!
Girl: My God!
Woman: if I get it, I want to use it my self!
Girl: Mam!
Woman: Maybe I get this on the 6 o’clock news.
Girl: Mam you are taking it a bit too far.
Woman: Be quiet! Eh, could you move your head a bit please?
Girl: Mam!
Woman: Excuse me, your in my way!
Girl: Mam!
Woman: Keep out of this! Eh, just move a bit you two!
Girl: Stop it!
Woman: I won’t Just be quit!
Jack: I don’t know. There’s no pleasing some people! Ain't that the truth?
Men: Yeah Yeah.
Felicity: O no! You’re useless!
Men: Women. women. Yeah!
Woman: Typical men.
Man: I know what to do.
Felicity: Where is my Harry? Harry! (cries)
Devotee: Excuse me. madam, Your husband is all right. My friend saved him.
Felicity: O thank God!
Devotee: Follow me. He’s over there.
Felicity: O Harry!
Woman: This is getting better and better and better. I can see the headlines now: Budhist in bed sheets saves man.
Girl: Mam. It’s a Hare Krishna!
Mam: Krishna? Oh, OK then, Hare Krishna in bed sheets saves man.
Felicity: Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna Thank you so much! O Harry Harry You’re alive! ( Harry coughs) This nice Hare Krishna man has saved you.
Harry: Oh!
Devotee: Hare Krishna.
Harry: O he he he he Eh Thank you. he Oh Hare Krishna ha ha he he he he he Eh, where’s my coat?